Blind Dates, Drag Queens, and an Epic Matchmaking Weekend at The Outing Festival
I’ve always loved Ireland and always dreamed about the time I’d be able to visit. When I was a kid, I used to run around saying, “At one point in my life, I wanted to be Irish,” in my best attempt at an Irish accent. As I grew older, I discovered I was, in fact, part Irish, so I guess I manifested that pretty early on.
Still, I never thought I’d wind up with an opportunity to visit Ireland, especially not on a solo press trip sponsored by Fáilte Ireland and Tourism Ireland. A younger version of myself who was also afraid to come out of the closet would have also been shocked that the main point of the trip was to visit a queer matchmaking festival called The Outing Festival.
The Outing Festival, now hosted at The Inn at Dromoland, began twelve years ago at a now-closed place called The Matchmaker Bar in Lisdoonvarna. What started in a bar has turned into a full-on hotel takeover in County Clare, which has a storied history with matchmaking that influences the weekend’s events and activities.
Starting Out the Weekend
My flight arrived in Shannon, Ireland, at just past 6 in the morning, and I’d departed my home in San Diego at just past 2 in the morning when I left. I went straight to bed as soon as I could. Fortunately, nothing really started until around three that afternoon, which gave me plenty of time to catch up on my z’s and be fresh-faced for the festival.
The majority of the first night was introductory, as most people continued to trickle in for the main events on Saturday. The drag performers and musicians joined the host, Eddie McGuinness, along with current visitors to march around the parking lot with a giant pride flag while using the event’s photographer for some epic drone footage and photo opps with the Ireland countryside in the back.
I wasn’t the only journalist around for the weekend, and the group met up together for dinner on the first night, which became a tradition for the next two. Zoe and Flick joined in from the UK, Frank from Denmark (which he kindly reminded me was not up for sale), Dirk from Berlin, and Rodrigo from Milan. It was certainly the most eclectic group of journalists I’ve been on a press trip with in terms of countries of residence, and it was great to have them around.
Events at the Outing Festival
As to the events themselves, there’s always something to do. The main foyer gets turned into a shop where local businesses can sell things like books or sex toys. The meeting room also gets used as a place for guest speakers to deliver speeches about topics like being non-binary or bisexual.
The days consist of various activities from a writing group to an outing (pun intended) to the Cliffs of Moher and Aillwee Caves (which we did). There’s also karaoke, consistent drag performances, and live music in between a DJ that keeps the beats going all weekend.
Me and Charra Tea from RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 6
On both Friday and Saturday nights, there’s a round of speed dating followed by two rounds (one for the lads and one for the lasses) of the Blind Date game. For those unfamiliar with the game, there’s a bachelor/bachelorette sitting behind a curtain asking questions to three potential suitors on the other side. This is done in front of the entire audience. After a select amount of questions, the “picker” chooses who, from their three options, they think gave the best answers to line them up for a good date.
Trying Out the “Blind Date” Game
I didn’t do either on Friday night because I was nervous. After some encouragement from my boyfriend, I wound up doing the Blind Date game, although I’d have preferred the speed dating. Hey, when you have to choose between free dinner or speed dating in a foreign country, when you’re in a relationship and there’s literally no chance, you choose the food.
That in mind, I also wish I’d have been one of the contestants instead of the picker, which I ended up being. It didn’t really feel fair considering my foreign and relationship status, but it turns out I was the only one who’d even signed up for it. They had to pull volunteers out of the audience before they brought me out, which I heard would have been easier had they been able to see me first.
I had a few whiskies before getting up there, but I do have to say, this was a really fun highlight of my time. It was fun to ask the questions and banter around with the hosts, and it was fun to go on a “date” afterward (even though it wouldn’t have worked regardless.) Plus, being the picker also meant I was guaranteed a goodie bag, which included a bottle of wine and some sex supplies from Aroused and Proud.
Visiting the Cliffs of Moher
On Saturday afternoon, I went on an excursion to visit the Cliffs of Moher, followed by the Aillwee Caves. I had initially had the caves on a separate part of my itinerary for the continued journey of my Ireland trip post-Outing Festival, but I’m glad I went with the group instead. Not only was it more fun to be with people, the day I would have gone alone would have been rainy, miserable, and probably gotten me in an accident that ended up with me driving off a cliff somehow.
As it was, the wind was so crazy I thought any of us would blow off the side of the cliff at any given time. Apparently, people falling to their deaths here isn’t the most uncommon thing, but that’s more due to people’s stupidity than anything else. Still, it was awesome to walk up the hills to the cliffs and the castle with a drag queen and a group of people carrying pride flags.
I also had an opportunity to see an old friend from college, Bailee. Fate would have it that we visited the cliffs on the same day, and although we knew that beforehand, it was still great to have that reconnect. It was also another reason going with the group wound up being better than checking it all out on my own.
On our from the cliffs to the caves, we stopped at the old Matchmaking Bar in Lisdoonvarna, which isn’t in operation anymore but was still a cute place to visit. Apparently, the whole strip on the block is now used for sheltering refugees.
Descending into The Aillwee Caves
The Aillwee Caves at the Aillwee Burren Experience was a pleasant surprise, at least for me. It was added on from the intended itinerary, which the drag queen, Sean D’Olier, was unaware of from the start. She wasn’t the happiest that she had to make the journey through the caves in heels, but she did so fabulously all the same.
As for me, this wasn’t my first caving experience, but it was one I was glad I didn’t have to repel into.
The Aillwee Caves did, however, show us 330 million years worth of history and a lot of cool stalagmites and stalactites with some bones and such from prehistoric bears. There are some relatively narrow spots where you’ll have to mind your head and shoulders and 22 stairs (they counted), but other than that, it’s pretty easy to move around, and it’s a well-lit sight. I enjoyed the underground waterfalls, though I could imagine I wouldn’t have enjoyed them as much if I had visited during a rainstorm.
Our guide also had a playful attitude and understood the assignment with a group of gays, especially regarding a certain stalagmite that, honestly, looks like a giant dildo. Also, if you’re gay and looking for a way to remember how to tell the difference between a stalagmite or a stalactite, think of the “g” in stalagmite like “girth,” and the penis grows up. Think of the “t” in stalactite like a “top” who comes down on you.
My First Falconry Experience
Although the Aillwee Burren Experience includes a Birds of Prey option, we did ours through the Dromoland Castle behind the inn where we stayed.
Here’s the thing: I’m usually not a big fan of birds. I think they’re a bit freaky, I’m with Alfred Hitchcock’s vision of them, and they’re just unpredictable creatures I just usually stay away from as much as possible. Add in the words “of prey” after the birds, and we’re in a whole different territory. I read Animorphs. I know how Tobias, the peregrine falcon, thinks when the animal takes over.
Although my fear of birds isn’t irrational, nor is it gone, I do have a different appreciation for them after being up close and personal with them, especially regarding hawks and owls. In fact, my fear of owls is actually gone, and I want one now. Especially an eagle owl. (Have no fear, though, I have no intention of actually following through with this, I just fell in love.)
Here’s a fun fact I learned about owls that I’m going to take to my grave because I truly just thought it was so interesting:
There are day owls, such as Hedwig and the owls from Harry Potter. The reason they do the mail and all that is because they hunt in the day. These owls have yellow eyes. Then, there are the owls like the Eurasian eagle owl I fell in love with that have those beautiful red-orange eyes that represent the sunset/sunrise these owls prefer to hunt. After that, most commonly are the nocturnal owls with black eyes.
Besides finding unexpected love with an owl and not a blind date, I’ll also never forget what it’s like to have a hawk fly up and land on your arm. The hawk we flew with, Mac, also had an incredible personality in a way I didn’t know birds were capable of.
All in all, this was the best highlight for me of the entire trip.
Staying at the Inn at Dromoland
As soon as I arrived at The Inn at Dromoland, it was evident The Outing Festival had taken over. They didn’t actually have my name down on the list, which was nerve-wracking at first but didn’t become an issue in the least. I wound up with a room pretty much as close to the festivities as you can get, which was great, but it also had a tendency to get pretty loud.
It was amazing how welcoming everyone was, though. This festival truly takes over the entire hotel for the weekend, and the staff is having just as much fun as we are (hopefully.)
The hotel is also pretty secluded, but its connection to the castle behind it works well, and it’s a great location to host a weekend event. Although it was great to have the festival take over, it was admittedly weird to see the families with their little strollers and children start to trickle in at the end of Sunday night, totally unprepared to know the truth about what happened in their rooms over the weekend.
Overall Thoughts on the Weekend
I had a great time at the festival overall. I was iffy about it being in February at first, and although it’s cold, it’s also fitting for the event to take place on or during Valentine’s Day.
I also thought that the location of the hotel would be limiting for the festival’s growth, but I’m wrong. They’ve got over 400 acres to work with on the Dromoland property, and festival host Eddie McGuinness told me they were looking to expand with “glamping” as the festival grew. Additionally, they want to take the matchmaking message and the festival itself out of just Shannon and ultimately expand it internationally, so I am all here for that.
Me in front of Dromoland Castle.
I wouldn’t have changed any of it for the world. I loved the focus on inclusion across all boards of the topic. The organizers do their part to make sure people who are neurodivergent are properly represented, and it was great to see a place that actually had a focus on inclusion much more than what I normally see in the States.
I shocked the audience with my confession about teaching naked yoga during my time on Blind Date. Perhaps I’ll be back next year to show them what that’s all about.
